The Club Introductions Blog
January 2024
Start a brand-new relationship – with the person you are already with
October 2022
Most of us have an unrealistic view of what exactly a relationship should be. We watch too many movies and read too many books that depict a very improbable, unworkable and naïve truth.
So, what should being in a relationship add to our lives? Firstly, we should not look to a relationship to bring us happiness. If that is the reason that you are seeking a person to be with then that is going to cause heartache from the get-go. If you are single or you are already in a relationship that you feel is failing, look first at making and creating your own happiness.
This might require therapy, or it may just mean creating a project of discovery for yourself to determine what else you need in your life. It may sound like a mountain to climb. However just like everything, if you break everything down to sizeable chunks, everything is possible.
If you feel like you hate your job, or you want to get fit, or lose weight, or your health is failing. If you feel your social life is miserable, or you don’t have enough money or you are in a situation that makes you feel consistently anxious try and create a plan for yourself to dig yourself out of your particular hole. If you cannot do it yourself, then seek help, ither through your doctor or search online in your network for applicable services.
Sometimes it is just a case of joining a new network, introducing a new thought process, or a new interest. Emerging yourself into a new book or reaching out to find out more from posts you read.
There are many reasons why we would think a new relationship will fulfil us. Whether you are single or already in a relationship that you think is going nowhere. The first place to start is to ask yourself to picture in your mind at least three different scenarios that appeal to you and make sure you ascertain why these situations appeal.
Often, we give up on a current relationship because of the age-old feeling of the grass being greener. I am the first person to advocate someone removing themselves from a toxic or terminally unhappy relationship. However, I would also strongly encourage sitting down and trying everything to make the necessary changes to your current relationship to improve it.
Sometimes it will have nothing to do with changing your partner, but instead everything to do with changing different aspects of your own life. Being in a relationship does not and should not define the person that you are or the person that you become.
It is also naïve to believe that you are going to discover something better than what you already have. A relationship is like an old wardrobe of clothes, you can spruce them up, add to them, embellish some of them, but what you are unlikely to do is throw everything out. This is how you should think about re-energising your relationship. It is always worth putting in some serious thought and time first before ending it and jumping too quickly into something else.
Dating through the ages
August 2022
The dating industry, along with perceptions has changed dramatically over the past twenty-five years. We have morphed from classified adverts discreetly situated at the back of the broadsheet newspapers, to living vicariously through your look-a-like avatar whilst sitting in the comfort of your sofa donned in a VR headset and your PJ’s – if dating on the Metaverse actually catches on.
Historically, dating industry disruptors have typically tapped perfectly into a winning formula about once every eight to ten years. Whether that is through careful market research, or just stumbling upon something that blends seamlessly in tune with the needs of the customers of the day, is debatable. Speaking as an early industry disruptor – I pioneered the Speed-dating concept in 2000 – the latter is probably closer to the truth.
Having come from a leisure and entertainment PR background, and finding myself a young 30 something single mother, I figured that as the industry had absolutely nothing remotely appealing to offer me, I would need to create a new industry offering myself. As I recollect my early, joyful, whirlwind years as the founder of my ‘Gorgeous Get-together’ Speed-dating events, the media started its own first love affair with the industry. Subsequently my brand appeared consistently in every magazine and newspaper, plus I was making regular appearances on TV.
My business is still operating and has brought thousands of couples together throughout the years which has been very rewarding.
The next big thing after Speed-dating was the hugely popular online dating. Though the first online dating sites were established in the late 90’s, the taboo lingered until around 2007-2010. UDate, Dating Direct, Lovestruck and Match were the first to become widespread and instantly recognisable brand names. Up until that point few singles were happy to admit they dabbled in online dating. In the early days the general population conjured up an assessment of dating on the internet as seemingly tacky, secret rendezvous. It was only the real movers and shakers of the time that cottoned on to how successful this route to finding love really was.
Whilst consumers within the industry have left the taboo behind years ago, it seems that most serious investors and VC’s have yet to catch up. The Speed-dater business was not the first eye watering industry buy out. In the early Noughties Mel Morris spectacularly sold his early internet dating site UDate to Match for a staggering £100 million. Since then, billion $ Unicorn exits happen in the sector on a fairly regular basis. Especially with the onslaught of the dating app explosion that first surfaced with the arrival of Tinder around eight years ago.
Whether it is a reluctance on the side of investors to take the sector seriously, or perhaps a deep-rooted lack of understanding of the industry, despite countless case studies of multi-million and multi-billion £ exits and Public listing’s, investment companies still seem to be way too over cautious and aversive when it comes to coughing up the dough. It has typically been the early entry angel investors who have enjoyed the sector’s spectacular ROI’s.
Today’s next big hitters are likely to be Genie Connections whose dating app - rich in never seen before innovative features - are now historically sitting eagerly and expectantly in exactly the right time frame eight years on from the dating app revolution – to be inundated with offers of investment or a take-over. Using Bluetooth technology, the founders have struck gold with the first dating app to tap into a solution to the age-old problem of singles having to watch a magical missed moment pass them by in real life. We have all done it, lingering glances on the tube, double takes in the supermarket or at the gym. But before you have the courage or opportunity to do something about it, the moment has passed forever.
The Genie app has a unique ‘history radar’ that allows registered users to later look up all the other Genie singles that have visibly passed them by. The app is rapidly gaining engaged users in their thousands. So long as Genie users have adjusted their settings to enable him/their/herself to be ‘found’ – the missed moment will become a thing of the past. The pioneering app comes timely onto the market in a time when far fewer people are prepared to make an approach in public. The chat up line is fast dissolving! Genie Connections are also the first dating app to address the appalling dating habits that have gradually wangled themselves into today’s society. Their ‘Considerate swiping module’ is legendary as it does not allow users to mindlessly right swipe.
Dating through the ages
July 2022
The dating industry, along with perceptions has changed dramatically over the past twenty-five years. We have morphed from classified adverts discreetly situated at the back of the broadsheet newspapers, to living vicariously through your look-a-like avatar whilst sitting in the comfort of your sofa donned in a VR headset and your PJ’s – if dating on the Metaverse actually catches on.
Historically, dating industry disruptors have typically tapped perfectly into a winning formula about once every eight to ten years. Whether that is through careful market research, or just stumbling upon something that blends seamlessly in tune with the needs of the customers of the day, is debatable. Speaking as an early industry disruptor – I pioneered the Speed-dating concept in 2000 – the latter is probably closer to the truth.
Having come from a leisure and entertainment PR background, and finding myself a young 30 something single mother, I figured that as the industry had absolutely nothing remotely appealing to offer me, I would need to create a new industry offering myself. As I recollect my early, joyful, whirlwind years as the founder of my ‘Gorgeous Get-together’ Speed-dating events, the media started its own first love affair with the industry. Subsequently my brand appeared consistently in every magazine and newspaper, plus I was making regular appearances on TV.
My business is still operating and has brought thousands of couples together throughout the years which has been very rewarding.
The next big thing after Speed-dating was the hugely popular online dating. Though the first online dating sites were established in the late 90’s, the taboo lingered until around 2007-2010. UDate, Dating Direct, Lovestruck and Match were the first to become widespread and instantly recognisable brand names. Up until that point few singles were happy to admit they dabbled in online dating. In the early days the general population conjured up an assessment of dating on the internet as seemingly tacky, secret rendezvous. It was only the real movers and shakers of the time that cottoned on to how successful this route to finding love really was.
Whilst consumers within the industry have left the taboo behind years ago, it seems that most serious investors and VC’s have yet to catch up. The Speed-dater business was not the first eye watering industry buy out. In the early Noughties Mel Morris spectacularly sold his early internet dating site UDate to Match for a staggering £100 million. Since then, billion $ Unicorn exits happen in the sector on a fairly regular basis. Especially with the onslaught of the dating app explosion that first surfaced with the arrival of Tinder around eight years ago.
Whether it is a reluctance on the side of investors to take the sector seriously, or perhaps a deep-rooted lack of understanding of the industry, despite countless case studies of multi-million and multi-billion £ exits and Public listing’s, investment companies still seem to be way too over cautious and aversive when it comes to coughing up the dough. It has typically been the early entry angel investors who have enjoyed the sector’s spectacular ROI’s.
Today’s next big hitters are likely to be Genie Connections whose dating app - rich in never seen before innovative features - are now historically sitting eagerly and expectantly in exactly the right time frame eight years on from the dating app revolution – to be inundated with offers of investment or a take-over. Using Bluetooth technology, the founders have struck gold with the first dating app to tap into a solution to the age-old problem of singles having to watch a magical missed moment pass them by in real life. We have all done it, lingering glances on the tube, double takes in the supermarket or at the gym. But before you have the courage or opportunity to do something about it, the moment has passed forever.
The Genie app has a unique ‘history radar’ that allows registered users to later look up all the other Genie singles that have visibly passed them by. The app is rapidly gaining engaged users in their thousands. So long as Genie users have adjusted their settings to enable him/their/herself to be ‘found’ – the missed moment will become a thing of the past. The pioneering app comes timely onto the market in a time when far fewer people are prepared to make an approach in public. The chat up line is fast dissolving! Genie Connections are also the first dating app to address the appalling dating habits that have gradually wangled themselves into today’s society. Their ‘Considerate swiping module’ is legendary as it does not allow users to mindlessly right swipe.
Watch this space!
Does the menopause effect our ability to make the right romantic choices?
May 2022
Nobody really understands the effects of the menopause until they actually experience it for themselves. It can effect women in completely different ways. As someone who embarked on my menopausal journey a few years ago I've learned to recognise my own personal symptoms and combatted the worst by having my doctor prescribe Biodentical's, which have been a life saver. However it has been a 'condition' that needs constant reassessing over the years. It is not something that you just pop a pill and everything goes away.
I'd say that going through the menopause leaves its stamp most predominantly mentally. It has you second guessing yourself all the time for starters. The confidence and self esteem that most of us have started to enjoy and bask in since our late 30's and 40's starts to fade. In addition even the most patient of us start to lose it for the tiniest most stupid reasons and also paranoia starts to set in quite severely.
For those of us who have been fortunate enough to find a balance with HRT that suits our own personal symptoms - and I might add that no woman should allow herself to be fobbed off by doctors who are completely ignorant of the menopause and have no real understanding of the effects, it takes time to adjust and re-adjust to the medication - it can be life changing. Though it does enable us to recognise symptoms in others when they probably have not the faintest idea of why they suddenly feel like an alien in their own body.
In my role as a matchmaker and romance coach I have discovered that menopausal symptoms massively affect so many women's ability to make good choices romantically. Speaking generally I've come across women in their mid to late 40's and early 50's who have stayed in a broken relationship, simply because they don't have the mental strength to move forward. I have seen women leave pretty solid relationships because they have not been able to clear the mind fog enough to address simple aspects of their partnership. I have seen single women who have lost their way when it comes to expectations of what they are seeking from a relationship. I have also come across so many strong, beautiful women who have lost all confidence in themselves and seem no longer able to master a normal conversation with men that they have a romantic interest in.
I'd also like to point out that men also have great hormonal changes going on in mid life, which do not help the dynamics in the least.
I think the first step towards menopausal or peri menopausal women reclaiming control of their lives is first to recognise the symptoms, it passes NO Woman by completely. Next to address a remedy, if your doctor is reluctant to prescribe HRT get a second and third opinion. Worst case scenario look for natural remedy's that might help. Magnesium supplements, Flaxseed, Legumes, Green leafy veg, Cold water fish, Nuts and seeds, Winter Squash, Prunes and Papaya can help various symptoms. But my best advise is to accept help and coaching and guidance, ask others opinions and listen when it comes to making decisions on a romantic basis.
Book a Personal Dating evaluation with Lorraine Adams. Info@gorgeousnetworks.uk for further info.
Watch this space!
Are Matchmaking and dating sites inherently Racist?
January 2022
As the globe fights inequality - is it ok for dating apps and services to still be actively encouraging overt and unconscious racism and ageism.
Having experienced twenty years as a key facilitator within the dating industry in terms of bringing couples together, I can hand on heart say that I have witnessed the very worse end of the inequality spectrum from clients in terms of racism and ageism. I have often asked myself why we, as industry insiders continue to openly allow such intolerance when it comes to race and age.
Whilst we live in a world where any racial or ageist intolerance is polarised in all walks of life, when you enter the ecosphere of dating, individuals make no secret about ruling out meeting those from a specific race. It is also seen as normal for male clients to specify their disinterest in women of a similar age and to narrow their search to much younger women. To openly request not to be introduced to a certain ethnicity, or age group is not acceptable for employers seeking new staff, so at a time when the western world is actively campaigning for racial and gender equality why do we still tolerate such overt racism and ageism within the dating industry?
People worldwide are arguing for diversity, yet at the very heart of our lives - our relationships -we are still inherently honouring an extreme racist, ageist and misogynistic uniformity. From first hand experience as a matchmaker and former dating site owner I can confirm that over 80% of singles will openly show signs of at best an intolerance and at the very worst total bigotry when seeking a future partner.
Are we ever going to get anywhere near true equality and acceptance if singles are intrinsically and actively fostered into selecting someone of a preferred colour to date? Will ageism ever disappear if the unattached are shoved towards selecting potential dates from an outmoded traditional expectation of age range?
It is typical of most men who are keen on starting a family to Categorically rule out women over 34 - even when the guys themselves are in their 50's! Many women are still able to conceive well into their 40's, so why is this unacceptable behaviour still being tolerated. Misogyny is absolutely rife amongst single men within the dating community and the worst of it is that most dating company business owners and matchmakers are still tolerating such injustices for fear of losing the potential clients.
The lack of progression in terms of tolerance and diversity within the dating sector is one of the reasons that I have shifted my business offering from facilitator to guide and coach. I have always been at the forefront of new innovational ideas and concepts, however for now I feel it is the time for me to be diverting my energy towards trying to push this institution into the 21st century.
How to make the most of dating during lock down
April 2021
Whilst January and February are usually the most proactive months for singles to throw themselves into dating - the current lock down places huge hurdles in the way for those hoping to embark on a potential new romance.
However if you follow our tips below you can make the most out of lock down dating and actually turn this into your most successful and rewarding dating period so far!
Tip 1
Try the sites that operate video dating and proactively arrange video dates to meet people to enable you to build a bit of rapport and give you the opportunity to discover if there is a mutual attraction. (Something almost impossible to establish via text or calls)
Tip 2
Stalling intimacy in a fledgling romance is probably the best chance of longevity for a potential relationship. Research shows that couples who took their time before jumping into sex when they initially start dating have a 72% better chance of relationship success than those who became intimate immediately. So it makes sense to use the restrictions to get to know people a little better via video chatting initially.
Tip 3
Try video speed dating with SpeedDater - they are currently organising regular virtual dating events all over the country.
Tip 4
Make the most of being allowed to exercise outside in parks by smiling and opening a socially distanced dialogue with fellow exercisers. Research shows that people have been engaging with strangers outside more than twice as much during lock down than they would normally.